Fifteen Ways Winchesters Annoy Each Other
by just-another-generic-emo-kid
Summary: Sam annoys Dean. Dean annoy Sam. WINCEST!
1. Sam Annoys Dean

Fifteen Ways That Sam Annoys Dean

His stupid, floppy hair. Dean gets that it doesn't bother Sam, but, for the sake of his sanity, Sam could get it cut.

Sam's resemblance to a puppy. Those fucking eyes make it hard for Dean to say 'no' to anything.

Dean also really hates Sam's emo-ness. Sam's constant 'it's-all-my-fault' outlook on life really gets on Dean's nerves. It would get on anyone's nerves. Hell, the pope would probably shoot Sam after a day of his emo, gloom-and-doom shit. That just means Dean is a fucking saint.

Sam's bitchface. Or, bitchfaces is more accurate. They are really irritating.

Those damn four inches that make Sam taller than Dean.

The noises that Sam makes during sex, apart from the moans and scream that Dean wholly appreciates, there are those stupid little whimpers and mewls.

The cuddling after sex is just ridiculous, because, hello? Neither of them is a chick.

Sam's health consciousness, it's just un-American.

Sam's insistence that Dean update his music collection.

The fact that, after they started fucking like rabbits, Sam thought it would be okay to touch the stereo in the Impala.

Sam driving the Impala. Ever. Is wrong and, obviously, annoying.

Sam's refusal to hustle anyone, even if it means not eating for a day or two, irks Dean to no end.

Sam's lack of appreciation for good porn. He is singlehandedly ruining the Winchester name.

Sam is a cocktease. This is okay, as long as he follows through with things. But sometimes, he doesn't. And that is just really cruel.

When Sam has to flirt with people to get information, Dean isn't happy. And when they get back to the motel, he fucks Sam up against the door. And sometimes he doesn't even wait until they get to the motel, just fucks Sam in the backseat of the Impala.


	2. Dean Annoys Sam

Fifteen Ways Dean Annoys Sam

Dean is a jealous bastard and can't keep it in his pants.

Dean eats disgusting, unhealthy food from fast food restaurants that couldn't pass a Cuban health inspection, nonetheless an American one.

That stupid leather jacket. It's old and ugly and leathery. It makes Dean look like a fucking greaser.

The way Dean flirts with waitresses, and dude, sometimes even waiters. And even though, Dean will be fucking Sam later, and Sam knows that, it's just annoying.

Dean's cocksucking lips. They aren't so much annoying as distracting. But when Dean his sucking on the tip of a pen when Sam is trying to do research, it gets a bit annoying.

Dean's music is stupid. No matter what Dean says, 80's music is just retarded.

Dean is a reckless moron. And Sam is forever astonished by this. He thought that Dean would maybe mature a little bit when he was older, but no. He is still an impulsive jerk.

Dean is a porn addict. Sam is researching rehabilitation centers that specialize in this problem. So far the research has turned up nothing. So, for now, Sam is stuck with a very perverted, kinky brother that he just so happens to be sleeping with every night. Most mornings. And the occasional afternoon.

Dean's stupid smirk that just draws attention to those cocksucking lips.

His brother's arrogance usually doesn't bother Sam. But when it gets to a certain point, Sam will drag Dean away from whatever he's doing and will fuck him over an flat surface he can conveniently locate.

Dean thinks that grocery shopping consists of running to a Dairy Mart or Dollar General or some other convenience store and grabbing a multitude of brightly colored frozen foods and snacks. Sam is attempting to re-educate him.

That one time Dean took Sam to a strip club for his birthday. The strippers were transsexuals, and sure, Sam can appreciate a pretty guy (look at Dean) but that was pushing even him a little too far.

Sam hates it, loathes it, when Dean uses his laptop, Betsy, to look up and download porn. Betsy is not to be used to fulfill your insatiable libido, Dean.

Dean tells Sam that he snuggles way too much. Well, Sam isn't the one who cuddles, never has been. It's totally all Dean.

The way Dean stares at Sam's ass when they're questioning the mother of a missing child or the lover of a dead woman is just unprofessional. Though, Sam can't say that it's not flattering and a little hot.


End file.
